I once was one of those people that didn't get the appeal of Robert Pattinson. In fact, I thought he was ugly. Unbelievable, I know. Then my friend got me hooked on Twilight, then I discovered he was British, and then I discovered what an adorable modest person he is in real life. Then the swooning started. So for those that might not get his appeal quite yet I've decided to comb the net for some interviews with Robert Pattinson that I feel show him in all his charming gorgeous glory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJCRZL-HQxI
Sunday, March 21, 2010
New Moon DVD Extras
No one place seems to have all of the DVD extras in one place with easy access. So I`ll gather them myself and post them here I suppose.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon Exclusive DVD Bonus Feature
MySpace Home Theater | MySpace Video
The Twilight Saga: New Moon Exclusive DVD Bonus Feature
MySpace Home Theater | MySpace Video
Friday, March 19, 2010
So What Happened To Gerard?
Found an old post talking about the evolution of my relationship with Gerard, so I thought I'd include it here to help my efforts of explaining my complicated life thus far. Gary and I broke up in April 2009. This past Christmas I was still trying to get my things from him (still am for that matter). We made an arrangement for him to give it to me through my cousin Ryan which never happened as you'll soon read about. In typical fashion I started talking about that and got into the backstory of Gerard and I simply because once I start writing it's hard to shut me up haha.
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So Gary never showed up on Thursday with the stuff at Ryan's. After a few WTF? emails from me he finally replied and claims he tried to call Ryan but got no answer. Ryan swears he was home all day on Thursday and was waiting on the call which didn't come. Guess who I believe? I chose Ryan for Gary to drop the stuff off to because if he won't face me I wanted him to have to look someone in my family in the eye after how they all accepted him in and treated him like gold. I figured out of all the people, Ryan would be the most effected by his actions next to me, and he should have to face one of us dammit. I guess I should have gone a little easier than Ryan because I don't think Gary could bring himself to face him either. He knows Ryan is a calm cool and collected type of guy. But I forgot he also knows the story very well of the infamous "I'm fucking your cousin" incident in the early days of when Gerard and I were dating, and the fact that Ryan is fiercely protective of both Jessica and myself especially would not escape him.
Ryan's acceptance of Gary was particularly meaningful to both of us at the time because neither of us knew how Ryan would react. Hell I remember begging my mom for WEEKS to break the news to Deno that Gary was moving in with me in Halifax because I was terrified of Deno's reaction. I should be filling in the gaps better here because not everyone knows the full stories here I guess.
Gerard, if any of you don't know, is one of my cousin Ryan's best friends. Since they were 5 years old, the same group of boys have all been best friends, Ryan, Gerard, Ryan B., Matthew, and Paul. When I moved in with Deno it was very nice to have a constant basement full of cute boys, but those were the core 5 boys. In Sept 2002, I returned to live in Sydney after 3 months of living and touring with Gary in Halifax. It was our second summer together and I had really thought that living together and touring together the way we had would make him decide to stay rather than returning to his girlfriend in Calgary. I was naive, we would be together 3 1/2 years before that would happen, and the timing confirmed something I had long been suspicious of, that Gary wouldn't leave his ex unless he could move right into a life with me. I lived at home and with Deno during the years we were unofficially together, when I finally moved from Sydney and got my own place, it took a mere 3 weeks before Gary announced that he was leaving her to move in with me. Anyway I was heartbroken when this didn't happen at the end of that summer, and heartbroken over a bitter end to what had been the most amazing days, weeks, and months of my life. When I got home I was determined to forget about Gary, determined to find someone else. I knew Gerard was interested in me, so I set my sights on him one night, and we started dating.
Gerard is so much of a brother to Ryan that Ryan actually made a point out of talking to me and asking me to not break Gerard's heart. His only girlfriend before me (he was actually a virgin before me) had cheated on him and really fucked him up. The "fucking your cousin" incident happened after we had only been dating a few weeks. We were at Jeremiah's place for a party, he lived next door to Gerard. I was really sick, so Gerard took me to Jeremiah's sisters bedroom so I could lay down. I was under the covers laying down, he was sitting on top of them, just keeping me company, when Ryan yelled up that he was getting a cab home if I was going with him. Gerard, drunk and severely miscalculating the humor he intended, shouted down, "Hold on! I'm fucking your cousin!" Gerard was still a virgin at the time and hadn't even touched my boob I don't think haha. But Ryan went apeshit. I've never seen Ryan like that before or since, and none of his friends had ever seen him lose his temper either. He flipped out, broke something, and tore off out of the house, walking home. I got a cab back, but he still beat me there....I don't think Gerard came but I don't remember why....I seem to think that at the time I thought it'd have to be the end of us because Ryan would never be ok with us being together the way he reacted. When I got back to Deno's, Billy was unfortunately out of town which is very rare, only Jessica and Deno were there, awakened and scared by Hurricane Ryan. He fucked up the hinges on the screen door he slammed it shut so hard, he knocked a window off of the wall that had broken, and the banister when you walk in the front door at Deno's had been kicked in, it's still loose this day from it. Deno and Jessica were terrified, all we could do was wait and let Ryan calm down, he paced the basement for hours, yelling and cursing and swearing up and down that he would murder Gerard, never speak to him again, etc. I almost called the whole thing off then, not wanting to come between their friendship. Ryan calmed down though, Gerard apologized and Ryan gave us his blessing. We went on with our lives but I'll never forget the fury that came out of Ryan that night, it was hard to believe it was him.
I can't say I know for sure anymore if Gerard and I could have worked as a couple if I had ever given it it's fair shot. I loved Gerard, but Gary still eclipsed everything in my life. When Gerard left to spend a month in Europe sightseeing with his sister, I went to Fort McMurray to work with my Mom to pass the month by. I had a layover in Calgary on my way there, Gary took me to his girlfriends place, and I cheated on Gerard with him. I felt horrible about it, it really did eat me up. But I didn't feel like I could fight my feelings for Gary at the time, and I couldn't. I spent a weekend in Edmonton that Gerard was aware of where the affair continued, all the time swearing my undying loyalty to Gerard. We fought like cats and dogs. My instinct is that we were great as friends, we had so much fun debating with each other, but it made for an explosive relationship, we butted heads a lot. I couldn't stand the way he acted when he drank, which was a lot back then, they all drank a lot then.
The next summer Gary only came east for a few shows. But I was with him when he came home and continued to cheat on Gerard those times. This lead to what was something we all laughed about at the time, and laughed about for years later, I still laugh about it today. But it certainly wasn't my proudest hour and I still carry a lot of guilt for my actions then. I can't seem to remember for sure if the conversation took place on a phone outside the North Sydney forum or if took place while visiting Gary and staying at Steen's place, but in any case I was in a heated argument with Gerard on the phone in front of Steen and Tara, who just about died laughing as I argued with Gerard, and while right in the middle of doing exactly what he was afraid of, I said to him with complete sincerity and incredulity, "I can't believe you don't trust me." Yeah, actually said that. It's no wonder that Tara and Steen had a hard time keeping themselves together at how righteous I was about it. Horrible thing.
Gerard moved to Halifax that fall for university. He was home for Christmas, exactly a week before Christmas this was, 2003. I was working night shifts doing tech support. He picked me up from work at 4am and took me back to Deno's. I went to sleep and awoke to the sound of him hammering on my door. It was so loud I thought he had dropped something. This is all still VERY vivid to me. I walked out of my room, sleepy and confused. Gerard was raging. He had gotten bored and wound up looking through my msn histories with Gary. I still don't know how much he read, but enough to know I had cheated on him. He tried to drag me to the computer and force me to read what he had just read. Terrified by him and what he might have seen I yanked the power chord to the computer out of the wall. He stormed into my room and shattered several group pictures I had framed in there with him and I, and punched a frame photo I had of Gary in a group shot. He was bleeding and yelling and calling me every name in the book, continuing to try to force me to the computer to face what he had found even though I had it turned off. When I resisted too much he threw me on the floor. Jessica was the only one at home, and was in the kitchen upstairs with her hand on the phone trying to figure out if she should call for help as I kept on screaming for Gerard to get his hands off of me, and he was just spouting profanity. He eventually stormed out, running into Deno on his way out, she was just coming in from work and he just walked straight past her still cursing.
Life after that was pretty miserable for me, not that I didn't earn it. All of the boys who had become like brothers to me had stopped speaking to me with the exception of the newest addition, Kent. None of my family could look me in the eye, especially Ryan. I became obsessed with making things right. So much so that I talked Gerard into taking me back and letting me fix things. His condition in agreeing to do this was that I cut every single one of my Gary related friends out of my life, and I did it. For a whole month I didn't talk to any of them, especially Gary. The only person that I managed to stay in touch with was Harold because Gerard didn't know I knew him through Gary. If I paused at all when I talked to him on MSN, I'd have to send him a screenshot of my msn list to prove that I had none of them on it and I was only talking to one of my other friends. He treated me really badly for that month, and I took it because I knew I deserved his anger. It's that time that makes me wonder if we could have worked, because I really did fall out of love with Gary. For the first time my heart was completely in Gerard's hands. Then he told me he was moving to Yellowknife. Finding out about my cheating when he had caused him to flunk out of his first semester at Dalhousie where he was getting his engineering degree. He was going to Yellowknife to work with his uncle until he could reapply for school the following September. We broke up, and as usual I fled west. I lived in Fort McMurray from March until June 2004. The first thing I did when Gerard broke up with me was call Gary. I stayed in touch with Gerard at first, hoping that maybe things could be worked out once he came home that summer. He was unsure, and I couldn't take being caught between them again so I told him if we weren't going to be together I couldn't keep talking to him. The next day he called me and begged for me to take him back, but I told him I refused to get back together with him when his reasons for wanting to do so were only because he didn't want to risk losing me completely. He still checked in with me now and then, and I think he thought that we would get back together once he came to Halifax that August. By July of course Gary had decided to leave Trina finally. I had to tell Gerard, and I tried to tell him in person but he was so busy before he came home. I ended up having to just leave him a msg on msn telling him.
He never really spoke to me again after that. I was at Deno's when he came home, but hid in the bathroom when he came to visit. I ran into him a year later and we all got drunk in the basement like old times, we talked a little but pretty much acted like strangers, it was just small talk really. I'll never forget that trip home though, Mom had been kind of nasty to me. I was home to see her, and because Gary was on tour at the time and I was really lonely in Halifax. The first thing she did when she saw me was tell me how ugly my hair was. I had gained about 20lbs and was starting to feel bad about my appearance and Mom was running around all giddy doing things with Jessica and having fashion shows in each others clothes. I was sitting at the kitchen table feeling really bad about everything really and it was one of those moments that just stands out in your life for some reason. It was a really HEAVY moment. The boys came up the stairs and were heading out to get in a cab to go to the bar. Gerard was the last one out and on his way out the door he caught a look of me over the shoulder. He stopped, looked at me with concern on his face and simply said, "Are you ok?" I told him I was fine, just tired. But that moment broke my heart. His ability to see that I was in pain and to ask me how I was, knowing me better than anyone else in the house did at the time, just killed me. Every time I hear the Conway Twitty song, "Rest Your Love On Me" I think of that moment. This is the song if any of you are actually curious haha:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikh7vPMOsg0
The last time I saw him Gary and I were living in Moncton and were both home visiting in the summer. That was when Gerard pulled off his magic trick of flawlessly acting like nothing had ever happened, talking to us both at the bar and even shaking Gary's hand. He's been dating the same girl for a few years now, she's got a couple of kids. He turned out to be pretty damned hunky I must say, and I'm sooooo sour I fucked things up with him. Even though it would mean giving up so much of what has shaped my life since then, and the people in my life even, if I could go back in time I would give all those things up in order to have not cheated on him with Gary. Even if I knew we were doomed as a couple anyway, I wish I could take back all the pain I caused for him. But at least I did groom him up nicely so he actually looks like a catch these days, and he became very good in bed thanks to my teaching it to him like a child (I honest to god bought him a book). He was soooo bad I had to do it, I couldn't take having sex with him anymore until he gained skills, and skills I gave him. That girl of his has no idea how lucky she is that I mentored him haha. This is a recent pic of them:
Yeah so anyway after all of that you can see why Ryan's acceptance of Gary was such a big deal, and why I was so scared to tell Deno that we he was moving in with me. I turned out to be scared over nothing, when I told her she was totally cool about it. She said the only problem she ever had with him was that he had a girlfriend, and if he was going to be with me and only me she was happy for us. I think I've also wrote way more than I intended to in order to explain why Gary would have a hard time facing Ryan hahaha, MAN do I get carried away when I start story tellin'.
Anyway moral of the story is don't cheat on people, it's brutal. Also Gary claims he's going to mail me the hard drive with my grandfather's website on it. We'll see if that happens or not since he failed to do it in person I guess. I'd like to know if he actually bailed because he couldn't face Ryan though, but that'll be a question that goes unanswered.
Me with Ryan and Jessica Christmas 2002:
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So Gary never showed up on Thursday with the stuff at Ryan's. After a few WTF? emails from me he finally replied and claims he tried to call Ryan but got no answer. Ryan swears he was home all day on Thursday and was waiting on the call which didn't come. Guess who I believe? I chose Ryan for Gary to drop the stuff off to because if he won't face me I wanted him to have to look someone in my family in the eye after how they all accepted him in and treated him like gold. I figured out of all the people, Ryan would be the most effected by his actions next to me, and he should have to face one of us dammit. I guess I should have gone a little easier than Ryan because I don't think Gary could bring himself to face him either. He knows Ryan is a calm cool and collected type of guy. But I forgot he also knows the story very well of the infamous "I'm fucking your cousin" incident in the early days of when Gerard and I were dating, and the fact that Ryan is fiercely protective of both Jessica and myself especially would not escape him.
Ryan's acceptance of Gary was particularly meaningful to both of us at the time because neither of us knew how Ryan would react. Hell I remember begging my mom for WEEKS to break the news to Deno that Gary was moving in with me in Halifax because I was terrified of Deno's reaction. I should be filling in the gaps better here because not everyone knows the full stories here I guess.
Gerard, if any of you don't know, is one of my cousin Ryan's best friends. Since they were 5 years old, the same group of boys have all been best friends, Ryan, Gerard, Ryan B., Matthew, and Paul. When I moved in with Deno it was very nice to have a constant basement full of cute boys, but those were the core 5 boys. In Sept 2002, I returned to live in Sydney after 3 months of living and touring with Gary in Halifax. It was our second summer together and I had really thought that living together and touring together the way we had would make him decide to stay rather than returning to his girlfriend in Calgary. I was naive, we would be together 3 1/2 years before that would happen, and the timing confirmed something I had long been suspicious of, that Gary wouldn't leave his ex unless he could move right into a life with me. I lived at home and with Deno during the years we were unofficially together, when I finally moved from Sydney and got my own place, it took a mere 3 weeks before Gary announced that he was leaving her to move in with me. Anyway I was heartbroken when this didn't happen at the end of that summer, and heartbroken over a bitter end to what had been the most amazing days, weeks, and months of my life. When I got home I was determined to forget about Gary, determined to find someone else. I knew Gerard was interested in me, so I set my sights on him one night, and we started dating.
Gerard is so much of a brother to Ryan that Ryan actually made a point out of talking to me and asking me to not break Gerard's heart. His only girlfriend before me (he was actually a virgin before me) had cheated on him and really fucked him up. The "fucking your cousin" incident happened after we had only been dating a few weeks. We were at Jeremiah's place for a party, he lived next door to Gerard. I was really sick, so Gerard took me to Jeremiah's sisters bedroom so I could lay down. I was under the covers laying down, he was sitting on top of them, just keeping me company, when Ryan yelled up that he was getting a cab home if I was going with him. Gerard, drunk and severely miscalculating the humor he intended, shouted down, "Hold on! I'm fucking your cousin!" Gerard was still a virgin at the time and hadn't even touched my boob I don't think haha. But Ryan went apeshit. I've never seen Ryan like that before or since, and none of his friends had ever seen him lose his temper either. He flipped out, broke something, and tore off out of the house, walking home. I got a cab back, but he still beat me there....I don't think Gerard came but I don't remember why....I seem to think that at the time I thought it'd have to be the end of us because Ryan would never be ok with us being together the way he reacted. When I got back to Deno's, Billy was unfortunately out of town which is very rare, only Jessica and Deno were there, awakened and scared by Hurricane Ryan. He fucked up the hinges on the screen door he slammed it shut so hard, he knocked a window off of the wall that had broken, and the banister when you walk in the front door at Deno's had been kicked in, it's still loose this day from it. Deno and Jessica were terrified, all we could do was wait and let Ryan calm down, he paced the basement for hours, yelling and cursing and swearing up and down that he would murder Gerard, never speak to him again, etc. I almost called the whole thing off then, not wanting to come between their friendship. Ryan calmed down though, Gerard apologized and Ryan gave us his blessing. We went on with our lives but I'll never forget the fury that came out of Ryan that night, it was hard to believe it was him.
I can't say I know for sure anymore if Gerard and I could have worked as a couple if I had ever given it it's fair shot. I loved Gerard, but Gary still eclipsed everything in my life. When Gerard left to spend a month in Europe sightseeing with his sister, I went to Fort McMurray to work with my Mom to pass the month by. I had a layover in Calgary on my way there, Gary took me to his girlfriends place, and I cheated on Gerard with him. I felt horrible about it, it really did eat me up. But I didn't feel like I could fight my feelings for Gary at the time, and I couldn't. I spent a weekend in Edmonton that Gerard was aware of where the affair continued, all the time swearing my undying loyalty to Gerard. We fought like cats and dogs. My instinct is that we were great as friends, we had so much fun debating with each other, but it made for an explosive relationship, we butted heads a lot. I couldn't stand the way he acted when he drank, which was a lot back then, they all drank a lot then.
The next summer Gary only came east for a few shows. But I was with him when he came home and continued to cheat on Gerard those times. This lead to what was something we all laughed about at the time, and laughed about for years later, I still laugh about it today. But it certainly wasn't my proudest hour and I still carry a lot of guilt for my actions then. I can't seem to remember for sure if the conversation took place on a phone outside the North Sydney forum or if took place while visiting Gary and staying at Steen's place, but in any case I was in a heated argument with Gerard on the phone in front of Steen and Tara, who just about died laughing as I argued with Gerard, and while right in the middle of doing exactly what he was afraid of, I said to him with complete sincerity and incredulity, "I can't believe you don't trust me." Yeah, actually said that. It's no wonder that Tara and Steen had a hard time keeping themselves together at how righteous I was about it. Horrible thing.
Gerard moved to Halifax that fall for university. He was home for Christmas, exactly a week before Christmas this was, 2003. I was working night shifts doing tech support. He picked me up from work at 4am and took me back to Deno's. I went to sleep and awoke to the sound of him hammering on my door. It was so loud I thought he had dropped something. This is all still VERY vivid to me. I walked out of my room, sleepy and confused. Gerard was raging. He had gotten bored and wound up looking through my msn histories with Gary. I still don't know how much he read, but enough to know I had cheated on him. He tried to drag me to the computer and force me to read what he had just read. Terrified by him and what he might have seen I yanked the power chord to the computer out of the wall. He stormed into my room and shattered several group pictures I had framed in there with him and I, and punched a frame photo I had of Gary in a group shot. He was bleeding and yelling and calling me every name in the book, continuing to try to force me to the computer to face what he had found even though I had it turned off. When I resisted too much he threw me on the floor. Jessica was the only one at home, and was in the kitchen upstairs with her hand on the phone trying to figure out if she should call for help as I kept on screaming for Gerard to get his hands off of me, and he was just spouting profanity. He eventually stormed out, running into Deno on his way out, she was just coming in from work and he just walked straight past her still cursing.
Life after that was pretty miserable for me, not that I didn't earn it. All of the boys who had become like brothers to me had stopped speaking to me with the exception of the newest addition, Kent. None of my family could look me in the eye, especially Ryan. I became obsessed with making things right. So much so that I talked Gerard into taking me back and letting me fix things. His condition in agreeing to do this was that I cut every single one of my Gary related friends out of my life, and I did it. For a whole month I didn't talk to any of them, especially Gary. The only person that I managed to stay in touch with was Harold because Gerard didn't know I knew him through Gary. If I paused at all when I talked to him on MSN, I'd have to send him a screenshot of my msn list to prove that I had none of them on it and I was only talking to one of my other friends. He treated me really badly for that month, and I took it because I knew I deserved his anger. It's that time that makes me wonder if we could have worked, because I really did fall out of love with Gary. For the first time my heart was completely in Gerard's hands. Then he told me he was moving to Yellowknife. Finding out about my cheating when he had caused him to flunk out of his first semester at Dalhousie where he was getting his engineering degree. He was going to Yellowknife to work with his uncle until he could reapply for school the following September. We broke up, and as usual I fled west. I lived in Fort McMurray from March until June 2004. The first thing I did when Gerard broke up with me was call Gary. I stayed in touch with Gerard at first, hoping that maybe things could be worked out once he came home that summer. He was unsure, and I couldn't take being caught between them again so I told him if we weren't going to be together I couldn't keep talking to him. The next day he called me and begged for me to take him back, but I told him I refused to get back together with him when his reasons for wanting to do so were only because he didn't want to risk losing me completely. He still checked in with me now and then, and I think he thought that we would get back together once he came to Halifax that August. By July of course Gary had decided to leave Trina finally. I had to tell Gerard, and I tried to tell him in person but he was so busy before he came home. I ended up having to just leave him a msg on msn telling him.
He never really spoke to me again after that. I was at Deno's when he came home, but hid in the bathroom when he came to visit. I ran into him a year later and we all got drunk in the basement like old times, we talked a little but pretty much acted like strangers, it was just small talk really. I'll never forget that trip home though, Mom had been kind of nasty to me. I was home to see her, and because Gary was on tour at the time and I was really lonely in Halifax. The first thing she did when she saw me was tell me how ugly my hair was. I had gained about 20lbs and was starting to feel bad about my appearance and Mom was running around all giddy doing things with Jessica and having fashion shows in each others clothes. I was sitting at the kitchen table feeling really bad about everything really and it was one of those moments that just stands out in your life for some reason. It was a really HEAVY moment. The boys came up the stairs and were heading out to get in a cab to go to the bar. Gerard was the last one out and on his way out the door he caught a look of me over the shoulder. He stopped, looked at me with concern on his face and simply said, "Are you ok?" I told him I was fine, just tired. But that moment broke my heart. His ability to see that I was in pain and to ask me how I was, knowing me better than anyone else in the house did at the time, just killed me. Every time I hear the Conway Twitty song, "Rest Your Love On Me" I think of that moment. This is the song if any of you are actually curious haha:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikh7vPMOsg0
The last time I saw him Gary and I were living in Moncton and were both home visiting in the summer. That was when Gerard pulled off his magic trick of flawlessly acting like nothing had ever happened, talking to us both at the bar and even shaking Gary's hand. He's been dating the same girl for a few years now, she's got a couple of kids. He turned out to be pretty damned hunky I must say, and I'm sooooo sour I fucked things up with him. Even though it would mean giving up so much of what has shaped my life since then, and the people in my life even, if I could go back in time I would give all those things up in order to have not cheated on him with Gary. Even if I knew we were doomed as a couple anyway, I wish I could take back all the pain I caused for him. But at least I did groom him up nicely so he actually looks like a catch these days, and he became very good in bed thanks to my teaching it to him like a child (I honest to god bought him a book). He was soooo bad I had to do it, I couldn't take having sex with him anymore until he gained skills, and skills I gave him. That girl of his has no idea how lucky she is that I mentored him haha. This is a recent pic of them:
Yeah so anyway after all of that you can see why Ryan's acceptance of Gary was such a big deal, and why I was so scared to tell Deno that we he was moving in with me. I turned out to be scared over nothing, when I told her she was totally cool about it. She said the only problem she ever had with him was that he had a girlfriend, and if he was going to be with me and only me she was happy for us. I think I've also wrote way more than I intended to in order to explain why Gary would have a hard time facing Ryan hahaha, MAN do I get carried away when I start story tellin'.
Anyway moral of the story is don't cheat on people, it's brutal. Also Gary claims he's going to mail me the hard drive with my grandfather's website on it. We'll see if that happens or not since he failed to do it in person I guess. I'd like to know if he actually bailed because he couldn't face Ryan though, but that'll be a question that goes unanswered.
Me with Ryan and Jessica Christmas 2002:
Things Me & My (Ex) Boyfriend Argue About
This is an old entry. Gary is my ex-fiance, who I will tell the story of one day. Long story short for now, we were together for 8 years. The first 3 1/2 he had a girlfriend and lived on the other side of the country from me. I didn't know about her at first. During the first few years I had a local boyfriend for a year and a half named Gerard. I was living with my aunt Deno, her husband Bob, and my 2 cousins Ryan and Jessica. Gerard was one of Ryan's best friends since they were like 5 years old. Ok I think that's all the back story needed.
This is based on "Things my girlfriend and I argued about" by Mil Millington:http://www.mil-millington.com/
So once upon a time, believe it or not ladies and gents, Katie had a boyfriend who was not Gary. I know, I know, shocking. We were definitely two people who should have remained friends as our debates were lots of fun as friends, not so much in a relationship. Well they're still funny I think, but not a relationship that was meant to be that's for sure. Every now and then I find a page I had on my old website of stupid fights we got into, and it makes me laugh my ass off every time I read it. So this would be Gerard and I:
And let the fights begin....(I left this unedited because I couldnt be bothered to put it in present tense haha) I am completely convinced that there is nothing in this world that my boyfriend and I can't get into an epic battle about. Not a day goes by that we don't end up in a tooth and nail type argument, and 99% of the time it's over the most retarded things imaginable. This is fuelled by the fact that not only can my boyfriend get me worked up worse than anyone I have ever known, but he also is a total ass....that little voice that most people have that says "Maybe this isn't funny and I should stop?"....yeah he doesn't have that. Don't get me wrong, I still think he's great...but Jesus he makes my blood boil. So I decided it'd be funny to start posting the fights we have on my website....hey maybe when he sees this it'll give us another dumb argument to have. Keep in mind these are just the bigger fights, I couldn't begin to document every little scrap. 1. The "Kissing My Cousin" Argument. We had only been dating a few weeks when this one happened. First off, for those of you that don't know, my boyfriend (Gerard) is my cousin Ryans's best friend. They have been best friends since they were in elementary school, and I've lived in the same house as Ryan for the past year. Now I was talking to Gerard on the phone, and I happened to be really sick. My cousin Ryan was also sick. Now here is where we see that common sense does not come naturally to Gerard. He makes what he thinks is a "funny" comment, that since both myself and Ryan are both sick, it's because we like to make out all the time. I could sit here and point out all the things that are wrong with that, but I'll assume most of you can understand. Now not only does he make the initial comment, but upon seeing how angry I get as a result of it, he continues to pick on me for it for close to 45 minutes. Lucky for him he was going away for the weekend the next day, because I needed the cool down time.
Ryan, Gerard & I:
Hordak:
4. Tickling.. Now I can't begin to describe how much I HATE to be tickled....so you can probably guess that Gerard of course loves to tickle me. One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was telling Gerard about "Grooby". Grooby was my families way of torturing me when I was a kid. They would draw a little smiley face on their index finger, this was Grooby. Grooby chased after you while making a whistling noise before catching you and "groobying" your neck, or your side, anywhere you can be poked and tickled. To this day all someone needs to do is do a little swoop motion with their finger while whistling and I just go insane. But Grooby wasn't the biggest fight caused over tickling. One day we were down in my basement watching TV. Gerard started picking at me, and ended up pinning me down and tickling me. After a lot of fighting, I managed to break free and run to the other couch. I was all out of breath, so I got up to go get a drink of my pop...all that was left was like a mouthful and a few ice cubes though. So I picked it up, and as I turned to go upstairs, Gerard attacked me and started tickling me again. I warned him three times that if he didn't stop, I was going to pour the drink over his head...he didn't, so I did. He then got me back by grabbing the ice cubes and putting them down my shirt. I sat down and fumed over it for a few minutes before forming a plan. I told him I was going into my room to change into a dry shirt. I went in, grabbed a can of glittery hairspray and went back out and sat next to him. When he least expected it, I whipped it out and went to spray sparkles all over him....however I misaimed and got him right in the mouth with the hairspray. He still hasn't let me live that one down.
5. Donkeys. Gerard has an indescribable hate for two things, donkeys and albinos. Now I won't fight him on the albino thing, but his reasoning for hating donkeys was worth a fight. Someone sent him off on a rant one night about donkeys....he says he hates them because "What the fuck is a donkey anyway?" He tried to say that donkeys were a cross between horses and mules, and there were only male donkeys, they couldn't reproduce. Now being the loving girlfriend that just loves proving him wrong whenever I get the chance, I had to investigate this. I was pretty sure there was something wrong about this, and I was right. See, he was thinking of Mules. A mule is the result of a donkey and a horse having sex, and there are no female mules. Again, he refuses to give me the satisfaction of admitting that I am right, and fights ensue.
6. The Foundation Of Life. This one is a fight that originated between Gerard and Sweaty, which we later picked up. I had to put my foot down and not allow him to fight with me over. It would never end...we would be 102 years old, confined to a bed wearing adult diapers, still fighting, until one of us died...and even then I'm sure our last ounce of strength would go towards croaking out the words "You're wrong". You see, Gerard is in university studying to be an Engineer. Which means he's really good at math, and he really likes math...actually that's an understatement, he is actually passionate about math.. Me, not so. I hate math with a passion, I suck at it, and I see no use for it in school beyond multiplying, dividing, adding and subtracting unless you are going into a career involving it. Now Gerard tries to insist that Math, is the foundation of life. I, beg to differ. In my opinion, you can not make the statement that anything is the foundation of life unless life could not exist without it. We do not NEED math to exist. We need it to evolve our technology, that's about it. If you ask me, you're much more accurate saying that sex is the foundation of life. However Gerard refuses to listen to my side of the argument as much as I refuse to even pretend his end of it makes any sense, so a ban had to be put on it. In fact, I shouldn't even be writing about this fight right now, because it only makes me want to call him up to fight about it some more. 7. Jet Li/Steven Segal.This was a fun one on my part...it's rare that I can turn the tables on Gerard and get him equally as worked up about things as he gets me. He, however, has an unnatural obsession with Steven Segal. He's Gerard's hero. Now the fun started there when one night we were all watching the Man Show, and they were making fun of Steven Segal because he is starting to go bald, but still has the long hair pony tail thing going on. Gerard insisted that Steven Segal was NOT balding in any way shape or form. So I got lots of joy out of insisting that he was. Now the big part of this fight also involves Gerard's friend Matt Janega, aka "Sweaty". Sweaty and Gerard fight about things all the time, in fact, Sweaty and Gerard were the originators of the foundation of life argument. Now Sweaty isn't always the brightest crayon in the box. Actually that`s not fair, Sweaty is actually very smart, it`s when he`s drinking that the stupid comes out. Great guy, but some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth....let's just say that we actually had him convinced one night that Richard Gere's real name is Richard "The Shit" Gere. Now Sweaty has an obsession much like Gerard's, only his is with Jet Li. Get Sweaty started on Jet Li, and you're looking at an hour of "No B'y, you don't even understand, like, Jet Li could kill you in 2 seconds." To which my reply has always been, "Yes, so could I, it's called a gun." Forgive me for not being impressed. Now Gerard and Sweaty have gotten in some major fights over who could win in an actual fight, Jet Li or Steven Segal. So, I was talking to Gerard on the phone, and he was ranting and raving about how excited he was about Steven Segal coming out with a new movie...and before I know it I'm doing my best Sweaty impersonation. "B'y, Jet Li could kill Steven Segal, what are you talking about." Gerard gets in a frenzy, "What the fuck are you talking about, Jet Li couldn't even reach Steven Segal's head, he's like 6'6"." "Yeah, but b'y, that doesn't matter, because Jet Li can FLY, he'd FLY up and kick him in the head and he'd DIE, because he's going BALD." This goes on for about 10 minutes before Gerard puts a ban on the fight because he realizes he is conducting an argument with Sweaty through me. Funny stuff.
8. House Hippos. Did you ever see that commercial on TV with the house hippos? It's for like concerned parents advertising or something like that. Anyway, Gerard got it in his head that he wanted one of these house hippos. Made the comment that he would trade me in for a house hippo any day. That got me worked up, and before I know it we're yelling at eachother because he is repeatedly saying things like "My house hippo doesn't talk to me that way, my house hippo loves me, he never hits me or gets mad at me or says mean things." And I'm nearly beside myself screaming that there are no such thing as house hippos. Remember at the top of this page where I said there is nothing we can't get into a fight over? Case in point...
9. Penelope. He insists on telling everyone that my middle name is Penelope, and calling me Penelope as often as possible because it drives me positively insane. I can't even really explain why this one gets me so angry, my middle name IS Marie, not Penelope, but there's still no reason for me to go as off the wall as I do...just another one of those things that only Gerard could manage to get me mad about. 10. "Loose Lips Sink Ships". We've gotten into many a fight about telling eachother secrets, and then the other one going around and telling other people the story. I think I hold the upper hand here though. I'll use the two biggies as examples. First off, one of his friends who we'll call Bob to avoid further ammo against me over this, recently had sex for the first time. Now the funny part about this is that "Bob's" mother caught him. Gerard and "Bob" came to my house the day after this happening, woke me up out of bed, and told me about what happened. They left shortly after. Now neither one of them told me that this was something that was supposed to be kept a secret. So I told my cousin Jessica and we had a good laugh together over it, and then we decided it'd be funny to tell my aunt Deno about it, so we did. Now Gerard came over again later that day and we told him that we told my aunt. He freaked right out on us for telling her, because "Bob" was mortified about the whole situation, and if "Bob" found out that Deno knew, the shit would hit the fan. Our arguement was that what Bob didn't know couldn't hurt him. We were the only ones that knew that she knew, so if we didn't tell him, no harm would be done, no embarrassment on his part. And that was well and good, because Bob did not find out for a while...until Mr. Gerard decided to tell him that Jessica and I told her. He did this despite my numerous warnings, and even worse, tried to shift the blame on someone else. He called me the day after he told "Bob" and told me that Bob found out, and that he warned me that it'd all come out in the end, and that "Bob" was freaking and saying he could never come over here again. When I asked who told Bob, Gerard said he didn't know, one of the boys had. Now Bob came over later that day, gave me a little hell about being "evil", that was all. I asked Bob how he found this out, and got the "Gerard told me" answer. So he got himself in shit with that one. Now, arguement number two, tables turned. I told Gerard something, again we'll use pretend names. I told him my friend "Sarah's" boyfriend "Dan" had up until he was 18 years old believed that girls peed from their bums. Hilarious I know. Now I warned Gerard not to say a thing to anyone, because all his friends know "Dan", and if anyone said anything to him I would catch hell from "Sarah" for telling Gerard. He swore up and down he wouldn't, and as soon as 2 days later, tells me that he told three of his friends. So I of course was livid. He tried to turn it around on me and say that I did the same thing with "Bob's" little predicament, but I say they are two totally different things because a) I was not told not to say anything, or else I wouldn't have, and b) Deno would have never said a peep to Bob about it, while Gerard's friends inevitably will make fun of Dan, thus getting me in shit. Damn this is a complicated arguement...anyway, moral of the story, I'm always right. 11. The VCR. I wanted to watch the Osbournes on 20/20, he did not. So there was a fight over the remote, since he kept trying to change the channel on me. When I couldn't get it back from him, I went up, turned the VCR around (we use it to change channels because the TV remote doesn`t work), and left it on my channel. He started insisting that he could change the channel still. I told him he couldn't, because the remote signal needed to go to the front of the VCR, which was pointed at an angle that he couldn't reach unless he got up. Mister physics decided to prove me wrong, and after several failed attempts, got up, adjusted the VCR towards the wall, then pointed the VCR remote towards the wall, and it did indeed change the channel. He then started gloating that he proved me wrong, because the signal will refract off of an object into the sensor in the front of the VCR. I pointed out that he proved nothing, because all I said was that the signal needed to go to the front of the VCR, not that the remote needed to be pointed directly at the front of the VCR. Days later, still fighting over whether or not he proved me wrong. 12. Monopoly. So we made the mistake of playing Monopoly together one night. This game is dangerous with the most good willed of competitors. So we were bored, we decided why not break out a game of Monopoly, it'd be fun, right? Wrong. Not long after we started to play, I started to get my ass kicked. Now this isn't because Gerard is BETTER than me, it's because I have the worst luck possible. Every other turn I'm landing in jail, and if I don't go to jail I have to pay Luxery tax out of my ass. Now, Gerard is raking in the money, and decides to build up his properties by adding houses upon houses, and hotels. This sent me into a frenzie. Now guys, you may not understand this one, but I'm sure all the girls will. When you are playing any type of game with your boyfriend, your boyfriend is supposed to go a little easy on you. Not to say he should let you win, but that he shouldn't try to outright slaughter you as he would one of his buddies. Gerard was trying to slaughter me. Now, I may have my oposers for critisizing him for simply "trying to win the game" but everyone knows, no one ever really wins Monopoly. As comedian Dane Cook says, this is everyone in the world, 3 and a half hours into a game of monopoly...."FUCK THIS GAME!!! I quit!". So, since no one was going to come to an actual win, he could have at least played nice. Instead the game ended with me clearing the board off onto the floor and trying to make him eat the dice...that'll learn him for trying to put a hotel on Park Place.
13. Sophia. I have no good explanation for this one. He likes to pretend there's this girl "Sophia". He likes to make up stories about his excursions with "Sophia" to work me up into a jealous rage. Even worse, he has his friends playing along. They like to send him txt messages on his phone when I'm with him from "Sophia" just to get me going...Ha ha ha...sooo not funny.
This is based on "Things my girlfriend and I argued about" by Mil Millington:http://www.mil-millington.com/
So once upon a time, believe it or not ladies and gents, Katie had a boyfriend who was not Gary. I know, I know, shocking. We were definitely two people who should have remained friends as our debates were lots of fun as friends, not so much in a relationship. Well they're still funny I think, but not a relationship that was meant to be that's for sure. Every now and then I find a page I had on my old website of stupid fights we got into, and it makes me laugh my ass off every time I read it. So this would be Gerard and I:
And let the fights begin....(I left this unedited because I couldnt be bothered to put it in present tense haha) I am completely convinced that there is nothing in this world that my boyfriend and I can't get into an epic battle about. Not a day goes by that we don't end up in a tooth and nail type argument, and 99% of the time it's over the most retarded things imaginable. This is fuelled by the fact that not only can my boyfriend get me worked up worse than anyone I have ever known, but he also is a total ass....that little voice that most people have that says "Maybe this isn't funny and I should stop?"....yeah he doesn't have that. Don't get me wrong, I still think he's great...but Jesus he makes my blood boil. So I decided it'd be funny to start posting the fights we have on my website....hey maybe when he sees this it'll give us another dumb argument to have. Keep in mind these are just the bigger fights, I couldn't begin to document every little scrap. 1. The "Kissing My Cousin" Argument. We had only been dating a few weeks when this one happened. First off, for those of you that don't know, my boyfriend (Gerard) is my cousin Ryans's best friend. They have been best friends since they were in elementary school, and I've lived in the same house as Ryan for the past year. Now I was talking to Gerard on the phone, and I happened to be really sick. My cousin Ryan was also sick. Now here is where we see that common sense does not come naturally to Gerard. He makes what he thinks is a "funny" comment, that since both myself and Ryan are both sick, it's because we like to make out all the time. I could sit here and point out all the things that are wrong with that, but I'll assume most of you can understand. Now not only does he make the initial comment, but upon seeing how angry I get as a result of it, he continues to pick on me for it for close to 45 minutes. Lucky for him he was going away for the weekend the next day, because I needed the cool down time.
Ryan, Gerard & I:
2. Superman. We were watching Crossing Jordan on TV. I made the mistake of asking Gerard where else it was that I had seen the actor Jerry O'Connell before. Gerard tries to tell me that he is the guy that played Superman on TV. Now I know the guy that played Superman is Dean Cain, and looks nothing like Jerry O'Connell. Then I remember that I know Jerry O'Connell from Scream 2 and the movie Stand By Me. Gerard however, is still insisting that he played Superman. So in a fit of rage, I go over to the computer and look up both actors, showing Gerard that he is wrong. He still however will not admit it. Every time Jerry O'Connell is in a scene, he makes reference to him being Superman, or doing something Super...making me infuriated. Then, just when I think I couldn't get any madder, he does it. Now this is something right out of my father's books, and my dad is the only person in the world that can get me as worked up as Gerard can....god forbid they ever are in the same room as me because I might just blow up. Anyway, my cousin Ryan comes downstairs, Gerard looks up at him, and with a totally straight face says "Ryan, your cousin keeps insisting that this guy on TV played Superman, will you tell her she's wrong? I keep telling her that was Dean Cain but she won't believe me." My head nearly exploded right then I swear to god...I have not the words.
Jerry O`Connell: 
Dean Cain: 
3. He-man Action Figures. This is also referred to as the "playing wrong" fight. We stumbled across all of Ryan's old toys one night, it was a goldmine. Old He-man, Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, Transformers, it was great. There was a minor spat on the phone first about this one because Gerard thought I was odd for getting so much enjoyment out of finding these old toys. Apparently I'm "Not 8 years old anymore" and shouldn't be so excited over toys. Me I think anyone who doesn't get excited over He-man toys could not have had a real childhood. But anyway, Gerard comes over the day after we made the find. He takes He-man, and Hordak, the bad guy from She-ra, and starts making them have bum sex. He seems to think this is quite funny, me, I was horrified. I yelled at him for desecrating the toys, and tried to grab them off him to make him stop. He not only failed to see the sacredness that is He-man, but seeing how worked up I was getting at him doing this, refused to stop. He then tried to tell me that he could tell what kind of kid I was, that I was one of those little princesses who would take the toys away from you for not "playing right". The fight continued until I finally pried the toys out of his hands.
He-Man:
Hordak:
4. Tickling.. Now I can't begin to describe how much I HATE to be tickled....so you can probably guess that Gerard of course loves to tickle me. One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was telling Gerard about "Grooby". Grooby was my families way of torturing me when I was a kid. They would draw a little smiley face on their index finger, this was Grooby. Grooby chased after you while making a whistling noise before catching you and "groobying" your neck, or your side, anywhere you can be poked and tickled. To this day all someone needs to do is do a little swoop motion with their finger while whistling and I just go insane. But Grooby wasn't the biggest fight caused over tickling. One day we were down in my basement watching TV. Gerard started picking at me, and ended up pinning me down and tickling me. After a lot of fighting, I managed to break free and run to the other couch. I was all out of breath, so I got up to go get a drink of my pop...all that was left was like a mouthful and a few ice cubes though. So I picked it up, and as I turned to go upstairs, Gerard attacked me and started tickling me again. I warned him three times that if he didn't stop, I was going to pour the drink over his head...he didn't, so I did. He then got me back by grabbing the ice cubes and putting them down my shirt. I sat down and fumed over it for a few minutes before forming a plan. I told him I was going into my room to change into a dry shirt. I went in, grabbed a can of glittery hairspray and went back out and sat next to him. When he least expected it, I whipped it out and went to spray sparkles all over him....however I misaimed and got him right in the mouth with the hairspray. He still hasn't let me live that one down.
Grooby:
5. Donkeys. Gerard has an indescribable hate for two things, donkeys and albinos. Now I won't fight him on the albino thing, but his reasoning for hating donkeys was worth a fight. Someone sent him off on a rant one night about donkeys....he says he hates them because "What the fuck is a donkey anyway?" He tried to say that donkeys were a cross between horses and mules, and there were only male donkeys, they couldn't reproduce. Now being the loving girlfriend that just loves proving him wrong whenever I get the chance, I had to investigate this. I was pretty sure there was something wrong about this, and I was right. See, he was thinking of Mules. A mule is the result of a donkey and a horse having sex, and there are no female mules. Again, he refuses to give me the satisfaction of admitting that I am right, and fights ensue.
An Albino Donkey *gasp*:
6. The Foundation Of Life. This one is a fight that originated between Gerard and Sweaty, which we later picked up. I had to put my foot down and not allow him to fight with me over. It would never end...we would be 102 years old, confined to a bed wearing adult diapers, still fighting, until one of us died...and even then I'm sure our last ounce of strength would go towards croaking out the words "You're wrong". You see, Gerard is in university studying to be an Engineer. Which means he's really good at math, and he really likes math...actually that's an understatement, he is actually passionate about math.. Me, not so. I hate math with a passion, I suck at it, and I see no use for it in school beyond multiplying, dividing, adding and subtracting unless you are going into a career involving it. Now Gerard tries to insist that Math, is the foundation of life. I, beg to differ. In my opinion, you can not make the statement that anything is the foundation of life unless life could not exist without it. We do not NEED math to exist. We need it to evolve our technology, that's about it. If you ask me, you're much more accurate saying that sex is the foundation of life. However Gerard refuses to listen to my side of the argument as much as I refuse to even pretend his end of it makes any sense, so a ban had to be put on it. In fact, I shouldn't even be writing about this fight right now, because it only makes me want to call him up to fight about it some more. 7. Jet Li/Steven Segal.This was a fun one on my part...it's rare that I can turn the tables on Gerard and get him equally as worked up about things as he gets me. He, however, has an unnatural obsession with Steven Segal. He's Gerard's hero. Now the fun started there when one night we were all watching the Man Show, and they were making fun of Steven Segal because he is starting to go bald, but still has the long hair pony tail thing going on. Gerard insisted that Steven Segal was NOT balding in any way shape or form. So I got lots of joy out of insisting that he was. Now the big part of this fight also involves Gerard's friend Matt Janega, aka "Sweaty". Sweaty and Gerard fight about things all the time, in fact, Sweaty and Gerard were the originators of the foundation of life argument. Now Sweaty isn't always the brightest crayon in the box. Actually that`s not fair, Sweaty is actually very smart, it`s when he`s drinking that the stupid comes out. Great guy, but some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth....let's just say that we actually had him convinced one night that Richard Gere's real name is Richard "The Shit" Gere. Now Sweaty has an obsession much like Gerard's, only his is with Jet Li. Get Sweaty started on Jet Li, and you're looking at an hour of "No B'y, you don't even understand, like, Jet Li could kill you in 2 seconds." To which my reply has always been, "Yes, so could I, it's called a gun." Forgive me for not being impressed. Now Gerard and Sweaty have gotten in some major fights over who could win in an actual fight, Jet Li or Steven Segal. So, I was talking to Gerard on the phone, and he was ranting and raving about how excited he was about Steven Segal coming out with a new movie...and before I know it I'm doing my best Sweaty impersonation. "B'y, Jet Li could kill Steven Segal, what are you talking about." Gerard gets in a frenzy, "What the fuck are you talking about, Jet Li couldn't even reach Steven Segal's head, he's like 6'6"." "Yeah, but b'y, that doesn't matter, because Jet Li can FLY, he'd FLY up and kick him in the head and he'd DIE, because he's going BALD." This goes on for about 10 minutes before Gerard puts a ban on the fight because he realizes he is conducting an argument with Sweaty through me. Funny stuff.
Jet Li:
Steven Segal:
8. House Hippos. Did you ever see that commercial on TV with the house hippos? It's for like concerned parents advertising or something like that. Anyway, Gerard got it in his head that he wanted one of these house hippos. Made the comment that he would trade me in for a house hippo any day. That got me worked up, and before I know it we're yelling at eachother because he is repeatedly saying things like "My house hippo doesn't talk to me that way, my house hippo loves me, he never hits me or gets mad at me or says mean things." And I'm nearly beside myself screaming that there are no such thing as house hippos. Remember at the top of this page where I said there is nothing we can't get into a fight over? Case in point...
9. Penelope. He insists on telling everyone that my middle name is Penelope, and calling me Penelope as often as possible because it drives me positively insane. I can't even really explain why this one gets me so angry, my middle name IS Marie, not Penelope, but there's still no reason for me to go as off the wall as I do...just another one of those things that only Gerard could manage to get me mad about. 10. "Loose Lips Sink Ships". We've gotten into many a fight about telling eachother secrets, and then the other one going around and telling other people the story. I think I hold the upper hand here though. I'll use the two biggies as examples. First off, one of his friends who we'll call Bob to avoid further ammo against me over this, recently had sex for the first time. Now the funny part about this is that "Bob's" mother caught him. Gerard and "Bob" came to my house the day after this happening, woke me up out of bed, and told me about what happened. They left shortly after. Now neither one of them told me that this was something that was supposed to be kept a secret. So I told my cousin Jessica and we had a good laugh together over it, and then we decided it'd be funny to tell my aunt Deno about it, so we did. Now Gerard came over again later that day and we told him that we told my aunt. He freaked right out on us for telling her, because "Bob" was mortified about the whole situation, and if "Bob" found out that Deno knew, the shit would hit the fan. Our arguement was that what Bob didn't know couldn't hurt him. We were the only ones that knew that she knew, so if we didn't tell him, no harm would be done, no embarrassment on his part. And that was well and good, because Bob did not find out for a while...until Mr. Gerard decided to tell him that Jessica and I told her. He did this despite my numerous warnings, and even worse, tried to shift the blame on someone else. He called me the day after he told "Bob" and told me that Bob found out, and that he warned me that it'd all come out in the end, and that "Bob" was freaking and saying he could never come over here again. When I asked who told Bob, Gerard said he didn't know, one of the boys had. Now Bob came over later that day, gave me a little hell about being "evil", that was all. I asked Bob how he found this out, and got the "Gerard told me" answer. So he got himself in shit with that one. Now, arguement number two, tables turned. I told Gerard something, again we'll use pretend names. I told him my friend "Sarah's" boyfriend "Dan" had up until he was 18 years old believed that girls peed from their bums. Hilarious I know. Now I warned Gerard not to say a thing to anyone, because all his friends know "Dan", and if anyone said anything to him I would catch hell from "Sarah" for telling Gerard. He swore up and down he wouldn't, and as soon as 2 days later, tells me that he told three of his friends. So I of course was livid. He tried to turn it around on me and say that I did the same thing with "Bob's" little predicament, but I say they are two totally different things because a) I was not told not to say anything, or else I wouldn't have, and b) Deno would have never said a peep to Bob about it, while Gerard's friends inevitably will make fun of Dan, thus getting me in shit. Damn this is a complicated arguement...anyway, moral of the story, I'm always right. 11. The VCR. I wanted to watch the Osbournes on 20/20, he did not. So there was a fight over the remote, since he kept trying to change the channel on me. When I couldn't get it back from him, I went up, turned the VCR around (we use it to change channels because the TV remote doesn`t work), and left it on my channel. He started insisting that he could change the channel still. I told him he couldn't, because the remote signal needed to go to the front of the VCR, which was pointed at an angle that he couldn't reach unless he got up. Mister physics decided to prove me wrong, and after several failed attempts, got up, adjusted the VCR towards the wall, then pointed the VCR remote towards the wall, and it did indeed change the channel. He then started gloating that he proved me wrong, because the signal will refract off of an object into the sensor in the front of the VCR. I pointed out that he proved nothing, because all I said was that the signal needed to go to the front of the VCR, not that the remote needed to be pointed directly at the front of the VCR. Days later, still fighting over whether or not he proved me wrong. 12. Monopoly. So we made the mistake of playing Monopoly together one night. This game is dangerous with the most good willed of competitors. So we were bored, we decided why not break out a game of Monopoly, it'd be fun, right? Wrong. Not long after we started to play, I started to get my ass kicked. Now this isn't because Gerard is BETTER than me, it's because I have the worst luck possible. Every other turn I'm landing in jail, and if I don't go to jail I have to pay Luxery tax out of my ass. Now, Gerard is raking in the money, and decides to build up his properties by adding houses upon houses, and hotels. This sent me into a frenzie. Now guys, you may not understand this one, but I'm sure all the girls will. When you are playing any type of game with your boyfriend, your boyfriend is supposed to go a little easy on you. Not to say he should let you win, but that he shouldn't try to outright slaughter you as he would one of his buddies. Gerard was trying to slaughter me. Now, I may have my oposers for critisizing him for simply "trying to win the game" but everyone knows, no one ever really wins Monopoly. As comedian Dane Cook says, this is everyone in the world, 3 and a half hours into a game of monopoly...."FUCK THIS GAME!!! I quit!". So, since no one was going to come to an actual win, he could have at least played nice. Instead the game ended with me clearing the board off onto the floor and trying to make him eat the dice...that'll learn him for trying to put a hotel on Park Place.
13. Sophia. I have no good explanation for this one. He likes to pretend there's this girl "Sophia". He likes to make up stories about his excursions with "Sophia" to work me up into a jealous rage. Even worse, he has his friends playing along. They like to send him txt messages on his phone when I'm with him from "Sophia" just to get me going...Ha ha ha...sooo not funny.
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